I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
