So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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