never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
