I feel like abortions should bother me more
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
