how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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