You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
