i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
