I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
