doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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