I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
