Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
