So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
