Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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