I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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