Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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