they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
