Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
