let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
