who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
