I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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