I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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