I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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