Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my sisters under your porch take her home
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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