Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
