Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
