i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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