I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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