There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
