so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
