Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
