I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
