I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
