Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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