it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
