i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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