Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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