Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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