when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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