So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
