roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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