So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
