Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
