some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
