And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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