woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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