Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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