Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
