Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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