Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
