is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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