Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
