and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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